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If I sin, what do I do to you, you watcher of mankind?… Why do you not pardon my transgression and take away my iniquity?…
– Job 7:20-21

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Job had less regard for the sin in his life than he’d liked to have believed. Before his calamity struck, he was pious, and regularly repenting through sacrifices, though he didn’t feel the pain of his sin. His suffering revealed his true feelings about his sin. He thought they weren’t that bad compared to his suffering. The word “why” in verse 21 implies that Job thought there was no good reason not to forgive his transgression.

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In certain times of suffering, I’ve felt that exact way. If I’m honest, I don’t think I deserve eternal punishment for my sin, or even momentary affliction. When I face suffering and begin to indict God for his lack of forgiveness, I know I’m wrong to assume I have a right to be forgiven.

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Oh Lord, I beg you to help me understand the gravity of my offense against you. The more I see forgiveness as undeserved, the more amazing and appealing is your grace to me. I want to treasure you above my own righteousness because I know you’re better. Help me know, by the contrast of my sin, your absolute goodness.

This post is part of my Weekly REAP series. I’m posting these from my personal journal to share what God is teaching me, and to give some practical examples of the REAP method.  I didn’t write any of these with publishing in mind, so forgive me if they don’t always wax eloquent. Here is some more information on the REAP study method.